I have one document that has hyperref loaded, and works fine.
I have a second document that I am using xr-hyper to reference the first. If I remove hyperref from the first document, the \titleref{} (from memoir) command works as expected. If I use hyperref I get "See Chapter 1" instead of "See Chapter Example".
Here are the two files that show this behavior:
\documentclass[12pt]{memoir}
\usepackage{xr-hyper}
\usepackage{hyperref}
\begin{document}
\chapter{Example}\label{chap:example}
Examples
\end{document}
Call that one example.tex, run pdflatex on it, and then the second file references it:
\documentclass[12pt]{memoir}
\usepackage{xr-hyper}
\usepackage{hyperref}
\externaldocument{example}
\begin{document}
See Chapter~\ref{chap:example} on page~\pageref{chap:example} which is called~\titleref{chap:example}.
\end{document}
Compile the second file and the issue will appear. Remove or comment out \usepackage{hyperref} in the first file and rerun both pdflatex commands and the \titleref command will work, but the first document won't have any hyperreferences.
I suspect that the problem is that the example.aux file has
\newlabel{chap:example}{{\M@TitleReference {1}{Example}}{1}}
in the working case, and
\newlabel{chap:example}{{1}{1}{Example}{chapter.1}{}}
in the case that doesn't work. I suppose I can compile my first file without hyperref and then the second file, and then turn hyperref on again and recompile the first file.

