I want to set bra-ket equations in my document, which uses Asana Math (with lualatex, fontspec and unicode-math). commath is also a requirement for certain stuff. However, in this specific combination, angle brackets are not properly scaled with some modifiers like \big etc.
Consider this MWE
%!TEX program = lualatex
\documentclass{article}
\usepackage{amsmath}
% math typesetting (differentials etc.)
\usepackage{commath}
\usepackage{fontspec}
\usepackage[bold-style=ISO]{unicode-math}
\setmathfont{Asana Math}
\begin{document}
\begin{equation}
\bigl\langle x \big\vert H \big\vert y \bigr\rangle
\end{equation}
\end{document}
which produces this result
The angle brackets are much too large compared to the equally set \vert. Furthermore, going through all sizes from \big to \Bigg produces some matching and some non-matching variants.
What works to avoid the problem:
- using other brackets
- deactivating commath
- switching from Asana Math to default math font
Unfortunately, neither is an option for me. \big is the smallest modifier and already too large. Skipping it produces too small angle brackets.
Is there any (decent) way, to get angle brackets between normal size and \big size with my package requirements?

commath; it is very buggy. See http://tex.stackexchange.com/questions/135944/commath-and-ifinner – egreg Aug 13 '15 at 16:04\left\langle x \big\vert H \big\vert y \right\rangle? – 1010011010 Aug 13 '15 at 16:04\leftand\rightproduces the identical (wrong) result for me. The detection obviously wants to use\bigbrackets there. – Florian Kruse Aug 13 '15 at 16:21\difmacro (need to check if I use anything else). Is there a good alternative package for that? – Florian Kruse Aug 13 '15 at 16:23\difcommand is wrongly defined. You're better served by\newcommand{\dif}{\mathop{}\!d}(the package has\!on the wrong side). – egreg Aug 13 '15 at 16:24\difmakes commath dispensable. All good now. Thanks! – Florian Kruse Aug 13 '15 at 20:04