You can stop struggling. Your chemical instincts are correct; the purer water is, the less corrosive.
The main factor in the corrosivity of water solutions is the ion content, the ability of the water to carry a current in galvanic reactions. Lower ions, less current, less corrosion. The second factor is the presence of dissolved ions etc. to participate in various and sundry reactions. The less of these the fewer possible reactions. It is best to use water of the highest quality available in water baths, humidifiers, drip coffee makers, CPAP devices, plating baths, even laboratory dishwashers, and definitely as a chemical reactant or solvent. Printed circuit board manufacturing uses only the highest quality DI water in any aqueous process [and they probably wish they could get rid of the pesky 10^-7M H3O+ and OH-]. [Which they do by inventing these super nonionic detergents and no residue fluxes and, once upon a time, freon rinses.]
The increased corrosiveness of pure[r] water is a myth that I think originated with the water supply companies that found that certain plumbing structures literally fell apart when high calcium water was replaced by softened water. The pipes were partially held together by buildup of CaCO3 deposits and the common ion effect prevented dissolution of the deposits. Remove Ca++ from the water the deposits dissolved and everything leaked or even fell apart. This was probably part of the problem in Flint, MI. A change in water disturbed decades of protective coating in the pipes; the problem was deeper than removal of a coating.