is there a deeper intuitive explanation
No. Or Yes. It depends on what you mean by "deeper" and "intuitive." Anyways, I will ignore this probably unanswerable part of the question.
do I just have to accept that one can just see it by plotting the probability distribution?
The orbital is the probability amplitude and the absolute square of the orbital is the probability density.
So, to "see" the shape of the orbital you can plot the probability density. The probability density is convenient since it is real. If you want to plot the actual orbital you may need a couple plots (one for the real part and one for the imaginary part).
For example, in a hydrogenic atom the orbital looks like:
$$
\psi_{n\ell m}(r,\theta,\phi) = R_n(r)Y_{\ell m}(\theta, \phi) \propto R_n(r)P_{\ell m}(\cos(\theta))e^{im\phi}\;,
$$
where $P_{\ell m}$ is an associated Legendre function.
The probability density looks like:
$$
|\psi(r,\theta,\phi)|^2 = \rho(r,\theta) \propto {\left(R_n(r)P_{\ell m}(\cos(\theta))\right)}^2
$$
So if you want to "see" what this looks like at fixed $r$, you could plot the associated Legendre function.
Is it coincidence that the angular momentum quantum number is connected with the shape of the orbitals?
It is not a coincident, it is a fact.
By the way, the shape also depends on the principal quantum number, just not the angular part of the shape.
And if we are talking about the probability amplitude rather than the density, then the shape also depends on the azimuthal quantum number.