If you don't want to make a reference to a theorem, but just the number of the upcoming theorem, say
\number\value{theorem}
at the position you want to have it. (This solution assumes that theorem is the counter responsible for the theorem environment.)
Changing the output of \ref can be done with varioref package, as stated by user tohecz before.
If you want to advance the counter by one, there are three possibilties, which should not be applied simultaneously:
\stepcounter{theorem}
or
\refstepcounter{theorem}
or
\addtocounter{theorem}{1}
The last method can be applied if you want to add (or even subtract) another value -- just exchange the number '1' by a positive or negative integer.
variorefpackage. I can't provide you more details since I don't really know that package. – yo' Feb 20 '14 at 14:29