! LaTeX Error: \verb illegal in command argument.? Yes. sir!
Well, then let’s use it in an environment:
The environment lrbox{<savebox>} works similar to \sbox{<savebox>}{<stuff to save>} but instead of saving an argument into a savebox it’s the environment’s body that gets saved into a savebox. That savebox is then used inside the \footnote command.
Code
\documentclass{article}
\newsavebox\myVerb
\newenvironment{verbbox}{\lrbox\myVerb}{\endlrbox}
\newcommand*{\verbBox}{\usebox\myVerb}
\begin{document}
I want this.%
\begin{lrbox}\myVerb%
\verb|You got this! % \ _ { }|%
\end{lrbox}%
\footnote{\usebox\myVerb}%
I defined a custom environment and a custom macro for you.%
\begin{verbbox}\scriptsize\verb|\begin{verbox} \verb!\begin{verbox} Inception?\end{verbox}! \end{verbbox}|\end{verbbox}%
\footnote{Wow?! \verbBox}%
\end{document}
Output

I know that LaTeX doesn't allow it. (a) That is in the question. (b) I'm trying to help seed in the beta.
I'm puzzled by your (b). As I understand it
\texttt{}is formatting mark-up, and\verb||is semantic mark-up. (You mark something as\verband leave the formatting of it up to LaTeX and your documentclass.\verbis absolutely the opposite of semantic markup it is just a low level instruction to the TeX parser to change the lexical analysis of its input (which is why it doesn't work in macro arguments where the input has already been tokenised). It doesn't say anything about what the content means, just that\and{}should be parsed in a different way. – David Carlisle Dec 18 '12 at 12:22