I’ve had a hard time finding an adequately robust footnote system. In the interest of sparing you my bankrupt descriptions of typography, I’ve provided a (crude) Photoshop mockup of the basic idea:

I’ve read at least a dozen questions on this site and tried them all; this question is similar to what I need, but the result is not what I'm looking for; the footnotes are segregated into different sections by level. The indentation and numerical consistency of the top-level footnotes is important, too.
Is there any kind of package (or whatever) that can do this, without requiring advanced knowledge of TeX (which I lack)? I’d prefer something that permits for source files looking a little like this:
Start of main text\footnote%
{Some sort of note here, clever witticisms, et cetera\footnote%
{Second, fourth-wall-breaking commentary\footnote%
{Snide suggestion that more-or-less repairs the fourth wall.} %
on the above commentary.} %
.}%
, which is constantly interrupted by the author’s scrambled, incoherent, and vagariously composed thought processes.
This is grotesque enough, and scarcely manageable, but I'm willing to compromise. Cleaner would be better.
There should, ideally, be support for splitting the outrageously overlong footnotes over two (or more) pages, preferably at a point I define, and with something like “[9], continued” at the start of the second page. I’m willing to give up on this, though; I may have to convert such footnotes to endnotes.
The exact TeX system is irrelevant; I’m fine using LaTeX or ConTeXt or plain TeX, or any other available flavors.
I don’t ask this kind of question (which seems so simple) lightly, but it’s been twelve hours and seven shots and I’m no closer to figuring this out than when I started. I’m starting to think it can’t be done.

bigfootpackage. – egreg Jul 04 '15 at 07:00@Mark — I tried that idea and it produces an effect quite similar to what I’m going for and I like it, so I may do that if I can figure out a way to make it all match, if nobody comes forward with the magic fix.
– t m Jul 13 '15 at 20:35