You can also type \ar[d]^*[@]{\cong} this makes the symbol \cong follow the direction of the arrow, but it has some bugs, it won't work well if your arrow goes left. Or if you want to force a different direction try \ar[d]^*[@!180]{\cong} this rotates 180 degrees so, you'll get an upsidown \cong.
EDIT
So, I found in another post that I will cite in the comments, the solution for the arrows going left. This is a full example, with empty arrows using @{}.
\[\xymatrix{
\bullet&\bullet&\bullet\\
\bullet&\bullet\ar@{}[ru]|*[@]{\cong}
\ar@{}[r]|*[@]{\cong}
\ar@{}[rd]|*[@]{\cong}
\ar@{}[d]|*[@]{\cong}
\ar@{}[ld]|*[@]{\cong}
\ar@{}[l]|*[@]{\cong}
\ar@{}[lu]|*[@]{\cong}
\ar@{}[u]|*[@]{\cong}&\bullet\\
\bullet&\bullet&\bullet
}\]
\[\xymatrix{
\bullet&\bullet&\bullet\\
\bullet&\bullet\ar@{}[ru]|*=0[@]{\cong}
\ar@{}[r]|*=0[@]{\cong}
\ar@{}[rd]|*=0[@]{\cong}
\ar@{}[d]|*=0[@]{\cong}
\ar@{}[ld]|*=0[@]{\cong}
\ar@{}[l]|*=0[@]{\cong}
\ar@{}[lu]|*=0[@]{\cong}
\ar@{}[u]|*=0[@]{\cong}&\bullet\\
\bullet&\bullet&\bullet
}\]
The first xymatrix is the wrong one, and the second is the correct one. What the =0 does is to make the box of $\cong$ cero dimensional.

~, especially in XY, I usually use\wr. – Arun Debray Nov 20 '15 at 19:57