In this answer, I am not addressing the paren height issue that others have drawn attention to, but rather the vertical elevation of the underscript across terms of an equation.
The \vphantom is required because the subscript placement provides a fixed gap of white space between the operator and the underscript. This is generally a good thing, because it allows underscripts of various heights to be set in a reasonable way.
The drawback is that if an two operators have underscripts of slightly different heights, the baselines of the underscripts are not aligned.
Here, instead, I define a macro \finf (fixed-underset \inf) that takes an argument, \finf{...}, which it uses in lieu of the \inf_{...} syntax, and fixes the baselineskip between the operator and the underscript. An optional argument is also provided to specify the baselineskip.
Thus, the \vphantom is avoided and \finf{...} takes no more key strokes than \inf_{...}.
EDITED to provide a generic macro \fop for doing this to any math operator, and show how to set it up for not only \finf, but also \fsum. With this approach, the underscript baselines will always be aligned, regardless of their local height.
\documentclass{article}
\usepackage{amsmath, amsthm, amssymb, amsfonts, amscd}
\usepackage[usestackEOL]{stackengine}
\newcommand\fop[3][9pt]{\mathop{\ensurestackMath{\stackengine{#1}%
{\displaystyle#2}{\scriptstyle#3}{U}{c}{F}{F}{L}}}\limits}
\newcommand\finf[2][9pt]{\fop[#1]{\inf}{#2}}
\newcommand\fsum[2][13pt]{\fop[#1]{\sum}{#2}}
\begin{document}
\centering
inf (no vphantom)
\begin{equation}
\inf_{\mathstrut v, w \in V} \bigg(\inf_{\tilde v, \tilde w \in \widetilde V} v + w - (\tilde v + \tilde w)\bigg)
\end{equation}\medskip
inf (vphantom)
\begin{equation}
\inf_{\vphantom{\widetilde V}v, w \in V} \bigg(\inf_{\tilde v, \tilde w \in \widetilde V} v + w - (\tilde v + \tilde w) \bigg)
\end{equation}\medskip
finf
\begin{equation}
\finf{\mathstrut v, w \in V} \bigg(\finf{\tilde v, \tilde w \in \widetilde V} v + w - (\tilde v + \tilde w)\bigg)
\end{equation}\medskip
fsum
\begin{equation}
\fsum{\mathstrut v, w \in V}^n \bigg(\fsum{\tilde v, \tilde w \in \widetilde V}^n v + w - (\tilde v + \tilde w)\bigg)
\end{equation}
\end{document}
In the image below, red lines have been added just to highlight the alignment of underscript baselines that are of slightly different vertical height

\biggis definitely too big; try\Bigl(and `\Bigr). The alignment needs the phantom, or changing the font parameter responsible for the distance, but this might have adverse effects in other places where you don't want a big gap. – egreg Nov 09 '18 at 08:43\Bigl(\Bigr)inside the\biggparentheses. I agree that stand-alone like this it's a bit too big. – G. Gare Nov 09 '18 at 08:58\biggland\biggrbehave correctly as regards to spacing, which\biggdoesn't. – egreg Nov 09 '18 at 09:00stackenginemacro could easily be defined (using an argument rather than an underscore) to set the subscript at a given baseline distance below the\infrather than with a fixed amount of white space (as is currently done). – Steven B. Segletes Nov 09 '18 at 11:21