Measure \otimes and set * in a box of that width. Using \mathpalette allows the symbol to change size in subscripts, as shown.
\documentclass{article}
\usepackage{amsmath}
\newcommand{\qq}{\otimes} % just an alias, this is a binary operation
\makeatletter
\newcommand{\pp}{% equalize the width of * to \otimes
\mathbin{\mathpalette\eq@to@otimes{*}}%
}
\newcommand{\eq@to@otimes}[2]{%
\begingroup
\settowidth\dimen@{$\m@th#1\otimes$}% measure \otimes in the current style
\makebox[\dimen@]{$\m@th#1#2$}%
\endgroup
}
\makeatother
\begin{document}
inline:
$A \pp B_{x\pp y}$
$A \qq B_{x\qq y}$
display:
\[A \pp B\]
\[A \qq B\]
\end{document}

If you instead want to make * bigger, then
\documentclass{article}
\usepackage{amsmath,graphicx}
\newcommand{\qq}{\otimes} % just an alias, this is a binary operation
\makeatletter
\newcommand{\pp}{% equalize the size of * to \otimes
\mathbin{\mathpalette\eq@to@otimes{*}}%
}
\newcommand{\eq@to@otimes}[2]{%
\begingroup
\settowidth\dimen@{$\m@th#1\otimes$}% measure \otimes in the current style
\vcenter{\hbox{\resizebox{\dimen@}{!}{$\m@th#1#2$}}}%
\endgroup
}
\makeatother
\begin{document}
inline:
$A \pp B_{x\pp y}$
$A \qq B_{x\qq y}$
display:
\[A \pp B\]
\[A \qq B\]
\end{document}

I offer also a generic version of the resizing approach.
\documentclass{article}
\usepackage{amsmath,graphicx}
\newcommand{\qq}{\otimes} % just an alias, this is a binary operation
\makeatletter
% a generic command to do the equalization; \equalizeto takes three arguments:
% #1: the symbol to equalize
% #2: the base symbol that gives the width
% #3: the type of the constructed symbol
\newcommand{\equalizeto}[3]{%
#3{\mathpalette\equalize@to{{#1}{#2}}}%
}
\newcommand{\equalize@to}[2]{\equalize@@to#1#2}
\newcommand{\equalize@@to}[3]{%
\begingroup
\settowidth\dimen@{$\m@th#1#3$}% measure #3 in the current style
\vcenter{\hbox{\resizebox{\dimen@}{!}{$\m@th#1#2$}}}%
\endgroup
}
\makeatother
\newcommand{\pp}{% equalize the size of * to \otimes
\equalizeto{*}{\otimes}{\mathbin}%
}
\begin{document}
inline:
$A \pp B_{x\pp y}$
$A \qq B_{x\qq y}$
display:
\[A \pp B\]
\[A \qq B\]
\end{document}
For a big operator, see How to create my own math operator with limits?