This question relates to one about getting a vertical bar longer than \mid.
How to get a vertical bar which is longer than \mid ?
However while the given \middle| solution works for me, it no longer behaves as a binary relation and so loses the space to the left-and-right of it that \mid puts in.
(I know I could manually add space, but I want the right way to do this.)
In fact I want a "growable \mid" that works like \left\{ and its relatives.
