What you're missing is that although there are infinitely many patches, the total contribution from these patches is finite. The fact that there are so many more patches that are far away is balanced by the fact that they have a weaker influence on the field.
I think the most compelling case for this is to look at the graph of $\delta E_\perp$:

While the positive region is infinitely wide, it is also infinitely thin and has finite area.
While convincing, this depiction is slightly deceptive. As you noticed (in your Q2), we add a factor of $x$ when integrating. This is because we care about area. The region which has the change in contribution
$$
\delta E_\perp = \frac{x^2-2d^2}{r^5} \delta d
$$
is the infinitely thin ring of radius $x$. Since it's infinitely thin, we can say it's basically a rectangle with sides $dx$ and $2\pi x$ (the circumference of the ring in question). So the actual change in $E_\perp$ includes an (infinitesimal) area:
$$
\delta E_\perp = \frac{x^2-2d^2}{r^5} \delta d~\mathrm dA = \frac{x^2-2d^2}{r^5} \delta d (2\pi x)\mathrm dx
$$
The graph of this one is less extreme, but still gets the point across and is not deceptive (integrating this curve yields the actual change in $E_\perp$ when we take a tiny step away):

The red curve is $\delta E_\perp$. The black curve is $2\pi/x^2$, which is only there to show that the positive region has finite area; the black curve is always greater than the red, and the area under the black curve is finite.
In this graph, the area of the negative region is equal to the area of the positive region, so the change in $E_\perp$ is zero.
When there is a finite region with finite values and an infinite region with infinitesimal values, I'd caution against reasoning about which has greater area without doing an explicit integral.
For an explicit counterexample, if we had a strip of uniform charge $\sigma$ that is $W$ wide and infinitely long, we get to use the same ideas. For a point directly in the middle of the strip ($\frac{W}{2}$ on either side), and $d$ distance away from the strip, we get the same symmetry argument showing that the parallel components all cancel out. We also get the same formulas for the perpendicular component that J. Murray showed:
$$
E_\perp = \frac{dA}{r^2}\cos(\theta)=dA \frac{d}{(x^2+d^2)^{3/2}}
$$
and when $d\to d+\delta d$:
$$
\delta E_\perp = \frac{x^2-2d^2}{r^5} \delta d
$$
so patches with $x > d\sqrt{2}$ increase their contribution when we step away. Also, we still have infinitely many patches with $x > d\sqrt{2}$ and finitely many with $x < d\sqrt{2}$. But in this scenario, the net electric field decreases as we move away from the strip (I'll leave the integration to you as an exercise).